Dear Maggie,
I just rocked you to sleep. I read you a story and gave you a bottle and laid you in your crib. You started to cry. I soothed you and left your room. You cried more. I hated it. I have been trying to figure out how to help you with your sleeping and I think you need to learn to soothe yourself. But I hated to hear you cry. It didn't feel right. All day at work I missed you. I hated sending you off with Nicole today and I hated every minute I wasn't with you. And it seemed wrong that they little time we had together tonight should be spent in separate rooms, with you crying and me listening to you cry. So I decided to forget all the sleep books and do what I wanted to do. I picked you up out of your crib and rocked you. Holding you in my arms felt good. I felt miserable today thinking about how I am missing time with you because I have to work. I have plans for us, baby girl. Things haven't gone as planned so far, but I do have plans. And as I rocked you tonight I told you about all the plans mama has for you. Here are just a few. Mama plans:
to hold you, and kiss you and rock you a lot
to take you out in the snow and the rain to play
to have lots of fun birthdays, with parties and cake and balloons
to sew you cute clothes, and put cute shoes on your feet
to let you pick your own outfits
to listen to you talk
to do your hair, once you have hair I can do something with
to sing to you
to read lots of stories together
to take you to swim lessons and dance classes
to take you to story time at the library
to take you to play dates, and to have friends over at our house
to sew a tee-pee for you and your brother to play in
for you and your brother to be friends
to give you another brother or sister someday
to feed you lots of healthy food, and some food that is not so healthy but delicious to eat
to get down on the floor and play with you
to take you outside to watch the leaves fall to the ground
to love you forever, and ever, and ever, and ever
Talking about all the plans I have for you and me made me happy. It calmed my upset mood. And it must have calmed you too because you drifted to sleep in my arms listening to all the plans I have for you. Sweet dreams baby girl. I will see you in the morning (and probably the night) and I will do my best to make my plans come true.
Love,
Mama
