Dear Maggie,
Happy birthday baby girl! I can't believe you are one year old. I can no longer say, as I am fond of saying, that this time one year ago you were inside my belly. As much as I like to say that I find a comfort for some reason in knowing that from now on to forever one year ago you were in my arms and in my life. I love you so much Maggie! You are snuggly and smiley and spunky and sweat. I love you and you love me. Tonight as I rocked you to sleep I told you thank you for trusting me to be your mommy. I don't know how it works in the pre-mortal life and if you really had a say in who would be your mommy or not, but I am glad that I got you. And even if you didn't have a say in the pre-mortal life I am grateful for the last year that you trusted me to be your mommy. I was really overwhelmed to be having another baby since your brother was still a baby when you were born. There were times when I doubted my decision to have you so soon and I felt guilty because I didn't feel like I was giving you the love and time and attention you deserved. And in these moments I would look at you and you never looked distressed or upset or like you didn't feel you were getting what you deserved. You always looked at me in a way that made me feel like you knew I would take care of you and that you felt like you belonged with us and I got so much comfort from that. And you were right baby girl. You do belong with us and I do love you and I want nothing more than to take such good care of you. Thank you for sticking with me. I am so very grateful that you are mine. And I am so grateful that I have forever and always to love you.
We celebrated your birthday all weekend. Yesterday we invited friends over and had fruit and cake and ice cream. Lisel and Annie and Meg and Blonde Rachel and Janet came with their kids. Everyone oohed and awed over you and your sweetness. They were especially enamored by your walking. You do look so very cute when you walk. You did just what you were supposed to with your cupcake and you ended up with chocolate frosting all over your face and down the back of your neck. Today we spent the morning at home and it was nice. Then you and I went to church while Max napped and daddy stayed with him. (You napped for a bit too. But then we laid Max down and after about ten minutes of quiet we heard you making some noises. When we went to check Max was jumping in his bed and you were standing in yours looking at him and smiling and talking. It is impossible to get the two of you to nap in the same room at the same time.) I loved spending time with you at church. At 2:29, the time you were born one year ago, I took you in to the hall and sang to you and took pictures of you and of you and me. Happy Birth-minute sweet girl! Nathan and Becky and all their boys came for dinner along with aunt Joydell. Aunt Militza was going to come with her family but she had to work. And Uncle Travis was on his way with his family but it was a snow storm and they had to turn around and go home. They were really sad. You know a year ago when you were born it was a freakishly warm January. We left the hospital with you wearing t-shirts. Today was what I imagined your birthday would be like a year ago - lots of snow! I made you a giant cupcake and I iced it in purple frosting with sprinkles. You looked really cute next to it. And you looked at it a lot but you weren't interested in eating it tonight. I think partly because so many people were looking at you and you felt nervous and partly because your brother interrupted your nap and you were getting really tired. Your brother was happy when you didn't eat it because then he got to. I was proud of him for at least giving you a chance at it first. After everyone left you played for a little bit. You rode on your wooden horse in the hall (I pushed you) and you climbed on and off of your brothers chair (we ordered you one for your Birthday but it hasn't made it here yet) and then it was time for you to go to sleep. You were so tired you fell asleep right away. But I held you and rocked you for a long time anyway. That was my present to myself on your Birthday. My mind floated up the hill to the hospital room where you and I stayed a year ago after you were born. You were so little and warm and new then and I didn't really know you yet. Now you are still little and warm but you are also soft and round and full of life and we have had a year of memories and you have wormed your way so deeply into my heart that I have tears in my eyes thinking about how much I love you and the year we have had together and the thoughts of the future with you.
Happy Birthday my sweet baby girl. You are my dream come true.
Love,
Mama
Happy birthday baby girl! I can't believe you are one year old. I can no longer say, as I am fond of saying, that this time one year ago you were inside my belly. As much as I like to say that I find a comfort for some reason in knowing that from now on to forever one year ago you were in my arms and in my life. I love you so much Maggie! You are snuggly and smiley and spunky and sweat. I love you and you love me. Tonight as I rocked you to sleep I told you thank you for trusting me to be your mommy. I don't know how it works in the pre-mortal life and if you really had a say in who would be your mommy or not, but I am glad that I got you. And even if you didn't have a say in the pre-mortal life I am grateful for the last year that you trusted me to be your mommy. I was really overwhelmed to be having another baby since your brother was still a baby when you were born. There were times when I doubted my decision to have you so soon and I felt guilty because I didn't feel like I was giving you the love and time and attention you deserved. And in these moments I would look at you and you never looked distressed or upset or like you didn't feel you were getting what you deserved. You always looked at me in a way that made me feel like you knew I would take care of you and that you felt like you belonged with us and I got so much comfort from that. And you were right baby girl. You do belong with us and I do love you and I want nothing more than to take such good care of you. Thank you for sticking with me. I am so very grateful that you are mine. And I am so grateful that I have forever and always to love you.
We celebrated your birthday all weekend. Yesterday we invited friends over and had fruit and cake and ice cream. Lisel and Annie and Meg and Blonde Rachel and Janet came with their kids. Everyone oohed and awed over you and your sweetness. They were especially enamored by your walking. You do look so very cute when you walk. You did just what you were supposed to with your cupcake and you ended up with chocolate frosting all over your face and down the back of your neck. Today we spent the morning at home and it was nice. Then you and I went to church while Max napped and daddy stayed with him. (You napped for a bit too. But then we laid Max down and after about ten minutes of quiet we heard you making some noises. When we went to check Max was jumping in his bed and you were standing in yours looking at him and smiling and talking. It is impossible to get the two of you to nap in the same room at the same time.) I loved spending time with you at church. At 2:29, the time you were born one year ago, I took you in to the hall and sang to you and took pictures of you and of you and me. Happy Birth-minute sweet girl! Nathan and Becky and all their boys came for dinner along with aunt Joydell. Aunt Militza was going to come with her family but she had to work. And Uncle Travis was on his way with his family but it was a snow storm and they had to turn around and go home. They were really sad. You know a year ago when you were born it was a freakishly warm January. We left the hospital with you wearing t-shirts. Today was what I imagined your birthday would be like a year ago - lots of snow! I made you a giant cupcake and I iced it in purple frosting with sprinkles. You looked really cute next to it. And you looked at it a lot but you weren't interested in eating it tonight. I think partly because so many people were looking at you and you felt nervous and partly because your brother interrupted your nap and you were getting really tired. Your brother was happy when you didn't eat it because then he got to. I was proud of him for at least giving you a chance at it first. After everyone left you played for a little bit. You rode on your wooden horse in the hall (I pushed you) and you climbed on and off of your brothers chair (we ordered you one for your Birthday but it hasn't made it here yet) and then it was time for you to go to sleep. You were so tired you fell asleep right away. But I held you and rocked you for a long time anyway. That was my present to myself on your Birthday. My mind floated up the hill to the hospital room where you and I stayed a year ago after you were born. You were so little and warm and new then and I didn't really know you yet. Now you are still little and warm but you are also soft and round and full of life and we have had a year of memories and you have wormed your way so deeply into my heart that I have tears in my eyes thinking about how much I love you and the year we have had together and the thoughts of the future with you.
Happy Birthday my sweet baby girl. You are my dream come true.
Love,
Mama
