Dear Max and Maggie,
This morning was crazy. It was crazy before your dad left for work and it just got crazier once I was on my own with the two of you. It started with a rough night. Max had a couple of nightmares, that also woke up Maggie. And Maggie had a few of her usual night wakenings, which also woke up Max. Yesterday I decided it was really time to make the binkies for Max for bed and car seat only. It went over well yesterday. But today it took more effort to enforce. And I wanted to throw in the towel, partly because it was so hard for Max on an already hard morning and partly because I am having my own emotional reaction to taking a step to turn my little man into a big boy. And I know that we need to figure out something for this sleep issue with Maggie. But between Maggie crying in her crib and Max getting his binki time in his no one really had any moments of much needed rest this morning. I did manage to get you both in a bath, at Max's request, and that part of the morning was fun. But then things went down hill again when I picked up Max's balnket to give it to him to help soothe him missing his binki only to discover that when Maggie had peed on the floor earlier in the morning she had also peed on Max's balnket. So I put it int the wash (and sad or not I really debated if that was the best option given the emotions of the day) and then for 30 minutes straight Max screamed "Blanket!" and was inconsolable while I put Maggie to sleep in her car seat because it was time to go to Nicole's house and work and she couldn't stay awake any longer to wait out the blanket washing fiascal. All moring I thought that if I had just one of you to focus on I could have done a bang up job. Surely I could get Maggie on a great sleeping routine if I wasn't also trying to help Max learn to self-soothe without a binki. And surely I could have provided good diversion for Max missing his binki if I didn't also have Maggie crying and rubbing her tired eyes at my feet. This morning was not our best moment as a threesome, but it wasn't really an exception to our normal time together. So while I know it is hard for the two of you, especially at your little ages, to not have my undivided attention I hope that it makes up for it that I gave you each other.
This Thanksgiving all my siblings and their families were able to be together except Amy and her family who we missed dearly. Together we had such a great time. We really enjoyed eachother's company. Of course we have some moments of disagreement and irritation, but we truely are all friends and very supportive of each other. And I love it. I absolutely love spending time with my siblings. I so much hope, and everythingshort of demand, that the two of you and any other siblings you may have someday are friends. Actually, I demand it. As your mother. I demand it because I want you to have the very best in life and I believe that good sibling relationships are the very best that life has to offer. Please, be kind to each other. And have fun together! Lots of it.
Also at Thanksgiving my siblings and I talked about how our parents are getting old and it is hard to see them struggling medically and how sad it is to know that they won't be with us on Earth forever. Sometimes when I am busy taking care of the two of you I think about how my mom did the same thing for me and my siblings not so very long ago. And now that phase of her life is past. I believe she loved it. I believe she always wanted to be a mom and loved taking care of all of her kids. I love it too. Even on crazy days like this morning, I love it with all my heart. And I am so grateful I get to experience it. And I know it won't last forever so I try my best to cherish each moment. Even the crying and the pee blankets and the no sleep moments. Dear Max and Maggie, I hope you always know that having you in my life is the best part of my life and I love every moment of it.
Love,
Mom
